Written by Patrick D. McNamara
November 24, 2019
8:19 PM
Author’s Note: This was the fourth of 4 short stories for a challenge I did at the end of 2019, writing 1 to 3 pages of fiction every day. The following is based on a true story, as evidenced by the one picture I got of the real-life recruiter.
Disclaimer: This narrative is a fictional interpretation of real events and should not be taken as a literal or factual account of any specific individual’s actions or character.
I lit the end of my joint, shielding it from the wind. It was my last one before heading back home to Kentucky the next day. Going to college in New York was great: no strict marijuana laws, no racist assholes (well, a lot fewer of them anyway). Things were nice here.
I inhaled what I knew would be the last toke of weed I would have for months. It felt shitty going back to such a conservative place. In college, I felt so free to explore my mind and be myself. At least I had a year to go before graduation.
The joint burnt out, and I tossed the butt near a tree. Hopefully it would degrade back into something nature would find useful. Rounding the corner, I decided to take a walk through Cooper Triangle. I always liked that place. It was a nice, tiny spot to hang out. The Village was full of places like that.
As I made my way down Third Avenue, I noticed a man standing on a bucket holding a giant sign. He was wearing a red jacket, green pants, a green masquerade mask, and a multicolored wizard hat. When I crossed the street to get closer to him, the words on the sign read more clearly. “Psychonaut adventurers wanted. Apply in person.”
These were fairly different from the religious or panhandling words I was expecting. Being an avid psychonaut myself, I thought it would at least be worth asking what the guy’s deal was. I approached him.
“Hey,” I said, “what’s your sign all about?”
He wordlessly reached into his jacket pocket and retrieved a neatly folded piece of what looked like old parchment paper. He handed it to me. Reluctantly, I took the paper and unfolded it. The paper read, “Rendezvous tonight at 22.22 Hours between Lions at 41st and 5th Ave.”
As I read the note, the man said, “I’ll explain everything at twenty-two twenty-two.” I had no idea how to react to this , so I just said “thank you” and moved along. The man continued to stand there motionless.
My mind was racing. Was he a plant for a drug bust? Was he going to rob me? Was he going to kill me? What the fuck was going on?
The high started to kick in right as I reached Cooper Triangle. It made me paranoid that this was some elaborate ruse to screw me one way or another. I checked my watch. 8:12 PM. I decided that before I even entertain the notion of going, I would store all my valuables back at my dorm so I’d have nothing to lose. Of course, I still had my life and limb to lose, but the odds of anything that serious happening randomly on a public sidewalk were slim. But this was New York. Anything was possible.
I put on my headphones and sat back, listening to Dreams by Fleetwood Mac. If this really was going to be the last night of my life, I was gonna live it up.
I clutched the pocketknife inside my coat pocket. If things went south with this guy, I wanted to have an edge (bad pun) over him. In truth, this seemed more like a harmless practical joke or performance art than something serious. But I don’t like getting duped.
The subway arrived at Grand Central Terminal, the closest stop to where I needed to be. I hopped off the train, made my way through the turnstiles, and headed to the stairs. On the way up, I saw this man in a brown trenchcoat and fedora stop to look at me as he was coming down in the opposite direction. My eyes met his, and after a moment of staring wide-eyed at me, he began to laugh. He clutched his stomach as he turned away from me and continued down the stairs, laughing hysterically.
I didn't know how to respond to the situation. This clearly was some sort of crazy guy, and the city had plenty of the sort to go around. I just decided to ignore the whole thing and get on with the business at hand.
Once at the top of the stairs, I rounded the corner and headed to the main concourse. As I was heading past the timetables, I heard another loud laugh right behind me. I whipped my head around to find a woman laughing with a man as they looked at something on her phone. The couple made eye contact with me and discontinued their chuckle, me looking either like a creep or a rude person shunning them for having fun. Both images were less than ideal for me, so I turned around and tried to walk faster so I could get away from the awkward encounter.
I chided myself for being so paranoid. People laugh in public, it's not a huge deal. I don't know why the trenchcoat guy laughed at me, but it couldn't have meant very much. I needed to focus so I wouldn't run into unexpected trouble. The weed from earlier probably clouded my perception.
I checked my watch. 10:05 PM. I was making good time, and I would be able to scope out the rendezvous area before the meetup. Perfect.
The weather outside was typical for a winter New York night. Light snow was falling on busy and brightly lit streets. I saw police everywhere, which was reassuring. If the rendezvous were to turn into an emergency, help would be nearby.
After rounding a few corners and walking a few blocks, the New York Public Library and its two lion statues alongside the staircase were in sight. Also in sight was a man in a red jacket, green pants, and a multicolored wizard hat pacing between the two lions. So much for scoping out the place. I took a deep breath and walked the final crosswalk between me and my fate with the psychonaut recruiter.
The man in the wizard hat continued pacing, not paying any notice to me. I took the opportunity of being incognito to sit on the steps of the library. Sitting down, I watched the man quickly pace with his head down, like he was in a rush. He checked his watch. Thinking it might be a good idea, I checked mine too. 10:11 PM. Still early.
There was a couple sitting on the steps just beneath me and a man in a blue scarf and black jacket leaning against the base of one of the lions. He kept looking up at the pacing man, clearly interested in him. After a few minutes of standing there, he walked up to the other man as he was pacing in the opposite direction. The man with the wizard hat turned around, exchanged some words with the man with the blue scarf, and handed him something. I was too far away to see what the exchanged object was. The man in the wizard hat then returned to pacing. The man in the blue scarf stopped for a bit, looked down at what was given to him, and then departed.
This seemed pretty sketchy to me. It looked like the guy wasn't here to rob me, which was a relief, but there was something off about the whole thing. Still, I didn't see this being anything too dangerous. I was in this out of boredom after all, and whatever this was didn't happen every day.
I still didn't have much to lose, and there was probably some fun to be gained. My curiosity was piqued too, to be honest.
I got up from my step and went down the stairs. The wizard hat guy continued to pace perpendicular to me. I raised a hand up to wave at him, and he stopped. "Hello," I said. The man picked his head up and made eye contact with me. He was a moderately old man, maybe in his sixties, and he had dark green eyes. "Ahoy," he said flatly, "My name's Randy." I hesitated to give this guy my name, so I simply nodded. He continued, unfazed by my silence, "I've been doing this a long time, but I've gotten tired of it. Thought I could make a scavenger hunt or breadcrumb trail for adventurers like you." He unzipped his jacket, revealing another jacket under that which he also unzipped. He reached into a deep pocket and retrieved a folded piece of paper with a key taped to it.
"Happy trails," he said, "May the elves be good to ya."
Randy went back to his pacing, leaving me with the folded paper and key. I went back to the stairs to inspect these oddities. Plopping down on the bottommost step, I unfolded the paper to reveal a map of Manhattan with a few pararaphs of text underneath. The map had a red X over Jersey Street between Mulberry and Lafayette. It was a relatively short distance from where I first encountered Randy.
I looked down from the map to read the text. It was typed in this very strange font that was somewhere between fun and psychotic. The letters were all very inconsistent in their widths and heights, having a rubbery quality to them. Dots and frills adorned the bouncy type. It read:
"I am an agent of the entities that live in the upper realms of hyperspace. The world we inhabit is one of many, and we are not alone in this universe. The old Irish believed in a realm where leprechauns, faeries, and gnomes played happily, occasionally meddling in human affairs out of their twisted senses of humor.
"Many have been able to communicate with extradimensional entities over the centuries, their methods ranging from psychedelic experimentation to meditative exercises. I discovered these other worlds through studying the Amazonian shamans, taking part of many ayahuasca ceremonies over the years. Though these have helped me along in my journey to transcendence, it was ultimately meditation that connected me to my soul and with external beings.
"My mission for you is to follow the breadcrumb trail that I have laid out so that you may discover these divine truths for yourself. Unlock the door you find at the location marked on this map with the attached key. There is no participation fee or any other monetary price you must pay for this. The only sacrifice you must make is your adherence to the traditional way of being, and your ego.
"You will be challenged on this journey of discovery. You will have difficult encounters, you will find more than you ever thought was possible. But it is all in the name of truth.
"Have fun!"
The text on the handout ended there. I couldn't say that this was absolutely insane, since I have heard Terence McKenna lecture about similar ideas. Alternate dimensions, entheogen-based shamanism, supernatural entities. It was something that people have believed for millenia, even to this day.
I have had my share of psychedelic experiences, but none of them seemed to be supernatural. I've never taken a "heroic dose" of anything, so maybe I just haven't been trying hard enough. Maybe this was my "in" for a fun adventure through hyperspace.
I got up and marched past Randy as he continued on pacing. Another new recruit was making his way over, so I gave Randy a nod as to not bother him. Next stop: Jersey Street.
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